ANIMALS

• Animals are never ever silent - dogs whine/bark/yip, cats meow  or purr, cows moo, even in cases where most animals wouldn't be making a sound.
• Rats, mice, squirrels and other vermin always make the tiny little squeaky noises constantly while they are on screen.
• Dolphins always make that same "dolphin chatter" sound when spinning, jumping, etc.
• Whenever a cliff or mountain is shown, especially if it's high, a hawk will screech.

• In a horror film when there is a full moon there is either an owl or a wolf howling in the distance.

• Dogs always know who's bad, and bark at them. 
• We hear the same cat scream in every movie. 
  
  

BOMBS & EXPLOSIONS

• Bombs must always have big, blinking, beeping timer displays.

• If something explodes, it takes about a minute for the explosions to stop 

• Explosions always happen in slow motion. When an explosion occurs, make certain you are running away from the point of detonation so the blast can send you flying, in slow motion, toward the camera.

• Bombs always "whistle" when falling from a plane 

CARS

• Car brakes must always squeak. 
• Car tires squeal when the car turns, pulls away or stops.
• While in route we usually hear a large truck and a horn with Doppler effect.

COMPUTERS

• Every button you press on a computer makes some kind of beep.
• Text being spelled out on computer screen must make some sort of typing sound.

ENVIRONMENT

• Storms start instantaneously: there's a crack of thunder and lightning, then heavy rain starts falling. 

• Thunder is always in sync with the lightning, and the explosion sounds are always in sync with the stuff blowing up, no matter how far away. The same holds true for fireworks. 

• Whistling types of wind must always be used. 

• We hear non-stop bubbles in underwater scenes. 

• Doors always squeak.

• When in San Francisco, no matter where you are, you always hear a cable car and or a fog horn. 
• Exterior Ambiences: No matter where you are outside, if it's not in the city, you hear a lonely cricket chirping.
• Trains: we always hear the same classic distant train horn.
• When a light bulb gets broken, there's always an electric spark sound heard.
• Whenever there is a fight or commotion going on in the upstairs of a house, the person downstairs won't hear a thing because the noise of gunshots, chairs falling over and screams will be totally masked by the following sounds; the phone ringing, the washing machine beginning its spin cycle, the dog barking, a drink being whizzed up in the blender or the maid vacuum cleaning.

HELICOPTERS & AIRPLANES

• Helicopters always fly from surround to front-speakers or left to right. 

• People standing outside a running helicopter can always talk in normal or just slightly louder than normal voices.

• Every helicopter shutting down emits a chirp-chirp-chirp sound, even though modern helicopters don't.

• An approaching airplane or helicopter will make no noise until it is directly over the characters, at which point it will suddenly become thundering loud.

• Characters never hear an approaching airplane or helicopter, even though in real life you would hear them approaching for at least a minute before they were close enough to see. Unfortunately for the characters this also holds true for approaching armies on horseback and tank battalions.

• The tires of any jet must screech upon landing.

• Any airplane in a dive will make a whining noise that will get louder and higher-pitched the longer the dive lasts. 

KNIFE

• When a character pulls out a knife, even from his pants, you hear a sound of metal brushing metal.

LANGUAGE & VOICE

• Even when depicted as foreigners (including aliens from outer space) actors will usually speak and understand a common language (usually English).
• The same women's recorded voice is heard in every spaceship, space-station, government building, etc. announcing a self destruct countdown.
• Kids can always whisper even if they're two inches away from a villain - he won't hear. If they step on a branch however, the villains will immediately know its not some animal, and catch them.
• When villains fall to their deaths, you can hear their screams gradually fade out, even if they only fall a few feet.
• When women run from a bad man they must scream, trip and fall.

MICROPHONES

• Anytime a person speaks into a microphone, their first words will cause the mike to feed back.
• The first spoken words must be either 'Testing, Testing' or 'One Two, One Two'.

MUSIC

• When the star travels to...
• London, we see a shot of Big Ben and hear Rule, Britannia.
• Hong Kong: a Chinese junk and wooden xylophone music (or a deep gong).
• New York: a traffic jam on Broadway and frenetic music.
• Paris: the Eiffel Tower and accordion music.
• Radio
• When listening to music on the radio in the car, the song on the radio never changes during a single scene. The scene rarely outlasts the song...if it does, one of the characters will turn the radio off before the end of the song.
• There are never any commercials on the radio.
•  It's always easy to find romantic make out music on the radio right when you need it.

PEOPLE

• The DJ always turns the music down when actors talk in disco and club-scenes. 

• Those tiny people far, far away in that long shot on the beach should always sound like they're talking directly into your ear - no matter how far away they are, even though they're whispering . . . 

• People in a wide open field or dense forest can make their voice echo if they yell loud enough.

• When you get punched in the face, it sounds like you broke a salami over the back of a chair. 

• Kisses need to sound sloppy and wet. 

• Blood will always squish when oozing from a wound.

• Dreams always require a lot of reverb. 

• People never answer the door until the doorbell or knocking has sounded at least three times.

SPACE

• Explosions in space make noise. 

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• There's a deep humming in space, no doubt about it.

• Sounds in space must have some element of a swishing sound or flanger involved.